'My manager is too lazy... AITA for snapping [at him]?': Retail assistant manager lays down the law with store manager, gets praised by Redditors for standing up for herself and her employees

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Mar 23, 2023 10:00 AM EDT

There's nothing like working a really demanding job and not getting support from your manager. It really just puts the salt directly to the wound, doesn't it? If you have ever worked retail, then you know exactly how demanding it is. The actual work you do for the store, like restock, organizing, etc. isn't the hard part. The most difficult part is dealing with the customers and, let's be honest, your coworkers. If you don't have a team that can work together, then you are going to fail. That basically goes for any group project in life. 

Recently, a woman who is the assistant manager at a store shared her experience with retail on Reddit. Her store is a tale as old as time, where the store manager, her manager, is a lazy and irresponsible higher up. She tried to just do her job and ignore his inability to do his job or even train her. He even tried to bribe her to get her to not mention anything about lying about his time card—she refused the bribe, but still didn't tattle. What finally pushed her over the edge was when the employees were coming to the managers for real help and she was unable to do anything because her manager, the store manager, wasn't doing anything. 

The employees were experiencing some serious trouble with a co-worker who was even threatening them. She technically doesn't have the ability to fire anyone, so she brought it to her manager's attention. He, of course, did not care and refused to do anything. That is when she let it all out and blew up at him. She laid down the law, told him exactly how he was messing up and how he needed to get his sh*t together. It was epic. 

She, however, feels insecure about her reaction and turned to Reddit to see if she was overreacting and being a jerk. But Reddit immediately had her back, praising her for what she did and even encouraging her to take it further. 

Read all about it below! 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/sad_encounter 4 hours ago AITA for snapping on my manager bc he doesn't give a crap? I am the assistant manager at a retail store. Our customer base is people who work in the trades and depend on us for their products. Me and this manager, ill call him M from here on out, have been working together for about 6 months now. M had left me alone for almost 3 weeks while he was away when I first started. Already giving me a bad start to this job and already setting the tone for how
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 02
    Font - leaves me alone, making me fend and struggle as i have to run the store alone. i can, but at my position, i havent been trained to do so NOR was I actually trained in my position - everything I know is bc of me training myself/learning along the way. Along with this, M takes personal calls, deals with personal things at work, leaves for unknown personal reasons, makes bets, march madness brackets etc. Anything and
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 03
    Font - everything fun, personal, or pertaining to his life outside of work, he does while at work. He has also bribed me (with a coffee machine) to not say anything about him lying on his time card. I did not take him up on his offer. M and I usually get along, pretty good working relationship up until now. Just to give you an idea of the environment.
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 04
    Font - Recently we have an employee that's lazy, complains, and low-key threatened another staff member. This problem employee, ill call PM from here on out, is causing a lot of issues within our store. Everyday I'm told a different scenario that occurred from other staff members, full time and part time. I have been speaking with M about this for weeks as I, at the assistant level, cannot do much other than offer support and tell M. But M
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 05
    Font - doesn't seem to care, doesn't seem to help fix anything, and isnt interested in having a team meeting. Just sits there with a blank face and nods. M likes to minimize and shove things under the rug. PM threated one of my employees after he mentioned to me that PM isn't working or being a team player. To put this in perspective - PM leaves for lunch with truck needs to be done, stares at other employees working, lies to customers, messes up orders and tries to cover his ass,
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 06
    Font - is unwilling to work, has the worst attitude everyday, makes everyone else do everything etc. Ive spoken to PM about this before, but nothing seems to come from it. Yesterday, after an issues with PM, M started to minimize and make excuses for PM. I think my manager is too lazy and is too focused on getting promoted to care. I think, in his head, if he gets promoted, the problem isn't his anymore - it's mine. I snapped on M
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 07
    Font - yesterday, expressing that these issues within the store need to be fixed and addressed. The smaller issues arent too crazy but the threatening and lying and attitude problems are causing the other staff members to lash out or become distressed while working. It makes it difficult for me to work and for everyone else to work. M needs to do something about this and isn't. The rest of Ms issues are another story.
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 08
    Font - XRaiderV1 4 hr. ago you wnbtah if you reported this to corporate and hr at this point, as this is rapidly becoming an unsafe work environment from the general tenor of your post.
    via u/XRaderV1
  • 09
    Font - sad_encounter OP 4 hr. ago Yes! I have informed my employee that was threatened to take it to HR. But if this continues much longer, I may have to escalate it myself. Thank you!
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 10
    Font - bus_garage707. 4 hr. ago NTA. Something that has helped me at work when my boss is underperforming is knowing that it helps nothing if I care more than she does. It just leads to stress. So, if the boss doesn't care, why should you. It will reflect on them, not you.
    via u/bus_garage707
  • 11
    Gesture - sad_encounter OP. 4 hr. ago YES, I've made the comment "well you're the boss" to him multiple times after he's made the wrong decision, makes him take a step back I think
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 12
    Font - Wishiwashome 4 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [24] NTA From what you say, your "manager" is either lazy, doesn't care, doing his time and waiting for promotion. There is another possibility; could he be afraid of PM? PM sounds like a bully and unstable at the very least. Is there a way you can either transfer or go to higher ups? I mean it is a dangerous working situation if someone is being bullied. I am not sure what kind of business but lying to customers isn't really a good idea for t
    via u/Wishiwashome
  • 13
    Font - sad_encounter OP. 4 hr. ago I'm not too sure - PM has a nice exterior, but once mad, we all know. PM seems to be unstable in some form as well. Thank you for your comment. I may need to escalate it if nothing comes from this and our conversation this morning.
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 14
    Font - Wishiwashome. 4 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [24] I really hate to see someone who does their job and cares about it, put in this position.
    via u/Wishiwashome
  • 15
    Font - AndSoItGoes24 - 3 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [22] NTA. But, don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Document your problems and go to HR and see their guidance. If you're a manager, then talk to someone in supervision. We all have to CYA at work.
    via u/AndSoItGoes24
  • 16
    Font - Literally_Taken . 2 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [9] Follow up conversations with M by writing an email recap and sending it to him. Include a synopsis of each issue, with associated decisions and action items. If every issue says "Decision deferred" and "Action items: none", your butt is covered. Send a copy of every message, and his response (if any) to your home email. Because you need to cover your butt.
    via u/Literally_Taken
  • 17
    Mammal - sad_encounter OP- 2 hr. ago I really like this idea - I think it's time to have documents on these employees, thank you for your advice !
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 18
    Font - Literally_Taken. 2 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [9] This is exactly the kind of thing your manager should be teaching you. Do you know anyone outside work you can ask for this kind of advice? If not, it's time to start listening to management podcasts.
    via u/Literally_Taken
  • 19
    Font - sad_encounter OP 2 hr. ago I would love if my manager trained me or simply listened to me when I talked 1 Reply Share Literally_Taken 2 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [9] ... You are right about your manager's negligence. There's no excuse for his behavior, but that isn't much help to you. That's why you need a mentor.
    via u/sad_encounter
  • 20
    Gesture - Posted by u/sad_encounter 5 hours ago AITA for snapping on my manager bc he doesn't give a crap? Yesterday, after an issues with PM, M started to minimize and make excuses for PM. I think my manager is too lazy and is too focused on getting promoted to care. I think, in his head, if he gets promoted, the problem isn't his anymore - it's mine. I snapped on M yesterday, expressing that these issues within the store need to be fixed and addressed.
    via u/Liza Summer

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Tags

management customer service toxic-manager store-manager retail retail worker general manager bad-management employees retail-employee Reddit assistant manager toxic-work-environment
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